Someone's Fiance

I don't know
sometimes I hate myself for reminiscing hard times as the scar still here wounded
I know I should not kept saying things that hurt me the most everyday
but I know I just can't help it
I want him to know that whatever happen back then...
was really really hurt me
even up until now, I am not strong enough to forget

April 24th, I am someone's fiance
I am happy as I love him whole my heart 
I hope he accept me too as a person

8th April 2018



Assalamualaikum, my dearself
Welcome back !
It has been yearss since I last wrote

I wonder how time really flies!
I am now 25 when the first time I wrote here was in 2011, right after i finished SPM

I am currently at my 6th semester of degree, just another one more sem, and I'm all done
Things were really don't goes how I planned or how I wanted it to be...
It all goes differently out of my mind
But that's what we call life

I decided to write long today, long than the previous post i guess, 3 years ago haha
I am still in a mood where I couldn't believe this is happening
I read my post back in 2011-2015 and I was this really me? haha
It is meant to be private I know

Well let's talk about life these past years..
Life has been really wonderful and I was so blessed in so many ways I could've imagine

I was still blessed by my family, friends and love ones
Things get harder and my responsibilities in everything getting much more big as my age grows
I admit I was weak, at some point,
Had my lowest time ( still healing )
And somehow got my highest time also

Well in the meantime,
I've been chose to experience internship in Dezhou, China
It was amazing back there 
Everyone had no idea how I survive because I am the only girl instead 9 of my male friends
They know nothing even when I needed someone to talk to
I had my first Hari Raya thousand miles away from families
Someone I trust was cheating on me again and again that time
That's when I felt I was so strong, I had to do this, I had to get through all this

But instead of that, there is so so many wonderful things happen back then when I was in China
Being real independent, experience new culture, new foods, new surrounding, language and temperature..
You have no idea how we survived 40 degrees everyday walking down the streets 15 minutes going to work every morning
It was all wonderful and memorable experience
I had my supportive members and they don't judge me as the only girl there

Life is great
Things get work out somehow in the end
Manage to get my spirit and strength back
and some other things that shape me of who I am today

I had families behind my back
And my small circle friends
I know it's enough

I'm not sure what I will write on my future post..
probably updating I am someone's fiance..or someone's wife..
or maybe I'm working in the company or anything I don't know

I just hope everything will be okay, 
no matter how hard it big the problem is..
I really wish I am eligible to get through all that

...Journey to more valuable and meaningful life...

See you again when I have time

-16 January 2018- 


Was not really active on this blog anymore

Currently pursue my degree on
Bachelor in Civil Engineering at UTHM Batu Pahat

Wish me luck ;)